In this interview during independent writing time, Rami explains my instructions and then reads from his work as an example of "stretching out" his story.
During this unit of study Rami has been focusing on expanding his writing with sensory details. He has expressed interest in helping the reader feel like they are in his story. While he still needs to work on more grammatical clarity, he does provide relevant description to paint a picture for the reader. In this case he describes what he feels while he is riding an amusement part ride. He writes about the wind on his face as being like "icy tornados." In addition to complimenting the expressiveness in his writing, I will next work with Rami on the importance of thinking about the plot of his story, focusing here particularly on making sure he is including details that help the reader understand the sequence of events during the experiences he describes.
| VISITOR: | Do you remember what the directions were for independent work time today? |
| STUDENT: | You don't usually have to. |
| VISITOR: | You don't have to. But I was wondering if you remember what the directions were that the teacher gave for independent work time today? Do you remember what the directions were? |
| STUDENT: | Mmm. |
| VISITOR: | Like what the assignment was? It was something about like I'm thinking or visualizing or something. |
| STUDENT: | Yeah. |
| VISITOR: | What is it she said, do you remember? |
| STUDENT: | Mmm. |
| VISITOR: | Something like stop, it's like you use visualizing to help you - |
| STUDENT: | Well, usually have the carpet. She always says that you've got to stretch out our things, make more details, visualize papers and stuff. |
| VISITOR: | Good. And do you do that? |
| STUDENT: | Well, just stretching and I'll put a few words in, like things, make pictures. My hair was blowing like ice hair blowing in the tormadoes, stretching it out. |
| VISITOR: | What was it like before you stretched it out? |
| STUDENT: | You want to see the first page? |
| VISITOR: | Uh, huh. |
| STUDENT: | This. There was a lot of rides, the wind was blowing, I was jumping in excitement of joy. I was jumping and was clapping my hands. The second part was, I went zoom, speed was in my hair. There was flying high, sky high, full of loudness. [screaming sound] My hair was blowing like ice hair blowing in the tornadoes. |
| VISITOR: | I really enjoyed that. |
| STUDENT: | Yes. |