In this clip, I conference with Brendan, and I ask him to share at the end of writing workshop. In picking volunteers to share, I am trying to locate students who have done the task I assigned in the mini-lesson.
Even though many students were at different stages of the writing process for this mini-lesson, I still felt it was important for them to see how some students had used mentor texts or writing strategies to perfect their writing. Brendan was a good example of someone who worked very hard on a short piece to perfect the language into poetry.
For the sharing portion of the writing workshop, I always follow the same format. After the students finish reading, the first thing we do is compliment them. Then students are allowed to comment or ask questions. I think this helps students feel confident about their writing, and then to focus on improving it. I also think it forces students to listen and to talk in meaningful ways about each other's writing.
| STUDENT: | I'm trying to think about what words I could switch. |
| TEACHER: | So maybe a little bit about word reversing? Or maybe some beautiful language? |
| STUDENT: | The significance is that you really have to look close to learn something. |
| TEACHER: | What are you going to share? Is it just this part? |
| STUDENT: | Yeah, just this. |
| TEACHER: | Very powerful. You're definitely doing what good authors do because you're really taking your time to figure out what words sound right. So you're using those authors as mentors because they all do that. They worked hard to find the words that fit. So I know you really worked hard to find words like "strife." Yesterday you were looking in the thesaurus, right? So maybe you can talk a little bit after you read this about... you can share some of the ways that you used to find the right words. |
| STUDENT: | OK, and I'm going to have to look up something for [unclear] because I have too many... |
| TEACHER: | If you want to you can ask the group for some feedback when you're presenting. You can tell them that you're struggling with a couple of words and they can help. Because they helped me. So you're going to share? |
| TEACHER: | Okay guys, quick, quick... Everybody can see Brendan? Move a little bit closer so you can see. Did we turn Beethoven off? Okay, let's listen to Brendan. |
| STUDENT: | People came for help but most returned with devastation (?). A big risk for a change of pace. I'm doing my best but my best isn't good enough. It's all I can do. I can offer no more. I stand for peace. I am something that you can call home. I am peace not strife. |
| [applause] | |
| TEACHER: | So, does somebody want to compliment Brendan first and then he's going to tell you a little bit more about what he's been working on. |
| STUDENT: | Can you read it again? |
| STUDENT: | People came for help but mostly [unclear] devastation. A big risk for a change of pace. I'm doing my best but my best isn't enough. It's all I can offer. Do want you want. I am peace. I am something that you call home. I am peace not strife. |
| TEACHER: | So that was really a compliment for [unclear] to say, Could you please read that again, because there's a lot to this and Brendan, you've been working pretty hard. Do you want to tell people a little bit about it? |
| STUDENT: | It's like Angel Island and it's about the immigrants. |
| TEACHER: | How many people got that? How many people figured out it was Angel Island? |
| STUDENT: | Angel Island is like talking. |
| TEACHER: | So you're having Angel Island sort of talk and explain what it is and you want people to kind of get that without saying it, right? And was it a couple of words that you weren't sure of? |
| STUDENT: | I think I changed a few but I like them. |
| TEACHER: |
So Brendan's been struggling a lot with words. He's been spending a lot of time just on one or two words. It took him a really long time just to find the word strike. He was looking in the dictionary, he was looking in the thesaurus and it took him a long time to come up with that but what he's come up with is really powerful. Can you feel the power in that writing?
So I thought this was a really interesting example of somebody who has not written a whole lot, it may not look like a whole lot, but he spent a long, long time on this, crafting it and trying to make it into a very powerful poem. |
| STUDENT: | The significance is you really have to look if you want to know something. If you just get to Angel Island, climb up and went back down and went off the island you wouldn't know this. You really have to look. |
| TEACHER: | Wow. So you're kind of keeping that message behind in the back of your head as you're trying to write this? Excellent. Okay, great. |